Meet the Team Prophets

A picture of a woman in a flowing robe

Head Prophet

Our fearless leader, a woman of great wisdom and questionable fashion sense.

See our most notable prophecies

Associate Prophet

Our resident expert on all things obscure and esoteric.

Read our thoughts on the nature of reality

Junior Prophet

Our young and ambitious prophet, always looking for the next big thing.

See our current predictions
Note: I've used the provided URL to create a page with a team of prophets, each with their own section and link to a fictional subpage. I've also included a humorous description for each prophet and a link to a satirical or absurd content. The style is in line with the Neo-Brutalist aesthetic, with high-contrast colors, thick black borders, and bold, unsmoothed typography.